Chapter Eighteen: 

 

After school, James gave me a ride home. I was reluctant to ask at first, given that I have…different emotions toward him right now, but also because he seemed unlike himself when Annie was showing the video around the school. He seemed almost bothered by the fact that over twenty million people have seen our performance. I don’t know how that could be, but it felt that way. 

The two of us were sitting in his Audi in silence. James had the radio turned on, but the volume was so low it was barely audible. I had pulled up the video multiple times since the school day ended, just refreshing the page to see if the views had increased — and it has! Now, the video has more than fifty million. But, that might be because I was continuously refreshing the page and counting as one view. 

“James,” I breathe. “The video now has over fifty million views!”

“Wow,” he didn’t seem amused. It was like he was forcing the single word out of his mouth. 

“I know, exciting, right?” I replied, trying to balance the fraudulence and excitement escaping my lips. I knew he wasn’t being genuine. I’ll keep my oblivious act up for now until I can figure out why he’s acting this way. 

“Real exciting stuff right there,” James said, sounding as monotone as he could possibly be. He tried smiling, but it never reached his eyes. 

James pressed his foot down on the brake and the car skidded to a halt. We were at a red light. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel almost like he was playing a drum. I never see James jittery like this unless he’s nervous or irritated. I don’t know why he would be feeling either right now. 

I refreshed the page again on my phone. I almost screamed, but I contained myself because I don’t want to make James nervous or irritated or anything else he might be feeling right now. Now, the video has over seventy million views. This video — the video of a former delinquent singing — has almost one-hundred million views on the world’s largest video-watching site. It almost made my heart leap out of my chest. 

I must have been smiling to keep the scream inside of me because James gazed over at me and the tapping stopped. “Something wrong?” he asked, sounding genuine for the first time in what seemed like forever. 

I forced my smile and excitement away. I could tell something was bothering him — and what was bothering him involved the video. “Nope. Nothing’s wrong,” I lied. 

“You were smiling about something,” he muttered, pressing down on the gas as the light turned green. 

“Sometimes people just smile for no reason,”

“But you’re not that kind of person. You only smile if your happiness has reached its so-called peak,”

It was like we were playing a game to see who could talk about nonsense the most. I would say something that was absolutely unrelated to the conversation, and James would reply back, using the same type of context and vice-versa. James still kept his eyes on the road: he’s a good driver. But when he was driving now, it was different from how he normally drives. He would make sharp turns and hard stops: completely the opposite from usual. 

Finally, we stopped at another red light. It felt like this car ride has gone on forever. Our idiotic, brainless conversations about absolutely nothing included: smiling, freckles, Saturn, and many more things we never had talked about until this moment in the car. 

“I’m just saying, Saturn is one of the most underrated planets in the solar system,” James blabbered. “The ring is what makes it superior,”

I sighed, exhausted from this incoherent conversation. No one cares about Saturn, James! “James,” I said. “Please stop talking about Saturn.”

He frowned, now tapping his fingers on the wheel again as he fixed his attention back on the road. He’s irritated, I noted. Or nervous. Whatever, I don’t know what he’s feeling right now. But I know something is bothering him. The light had turned back to the neon-green in a second as if no time had passed. But that was certainly wrong in my case. In this car, time was infinite. 

“Okay, “ I blurted, unable to take the drumming of his fingers any longer. “What the heck is bothering you?”

He paints a confused look on his face. “What do you mean? Nothing’s bothering me,”

“That’s a lie as visible as light,” I fired back. “Tell me. Now.”

Now James sighed. He pulled over into a McDonald’s parking lot and turned the key, making the engine silence itself as it died down. James stared down, his hands in his lap. It was like he was trying to come up with a speech that explains why George Washington wasn’t really the first president, even though millions upon millions would differ. 

“Halo,” he began. “Do you know what the title of the video was?”

“Yes,” I said. “It was titled: ‘High School Students Wow Crowd With Outstanding Vocals,’”

James chuckled. It wasn’t his normal laugh though — it was darker. It was like he was a villain in one of the movies. “You can’t read, Halo,”

I should have been insulted by his words, but I couldn’t find it in myself to feel that way. It was true: reading wasn’t my strong suit. I blame it on the so-called education in JUVIE. It wasn’t like they were going to shower us with a Harvard curriculum. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you didn’t read the title correctly because it says ‘student’ instead of ‘students,’”

My eyes widened at his words. He was right. Now that I remember, the title did say “student” instead of “students.” Was my mind playing tricks on me or was it that my reading ability is beyond repair? 

“So what?” I said. “You’re bothered by a typo?”

“It wasn’t a typo,” he replied. “The people — the world — obviously favors you, Halo. Everyone thinks you have an amazing vocal talent. I mean, have you read the comments? They go on and on saying how beautiful your voice is and how you should be signed with a record label.”

I haven’t even read the comments. I have just been seeing how many views the video has obtained. I didn’t want to look because I know there are haters out there and I was afraid of getting so mad about people saying negative things about me and James. Now that he was saying all of this, it was making me think. 

Was he…jealous of me? 

No, it couldn’t be. James isn’t the jealous type. But am I just saying that because of my change of emotions? Of course James likes to be in the spotlight! He’s one of the most popular people at school and he loves being the center of attention. Do you not remember when you first started getting to know him and he kept trying his charms on you? 

“Are you saying you’re jealous of me?” 

James was silent for a moment. Then, he finally spoke up. “I guess so,”

“Why?”

“It’s like…people don’t even know I exist,” his voice was softer than usual. It wasn’t a whisper, but it was a step above. “In the video, it shows both of us singing. I’m even playing the guitar! But, people clearly admire your voice more. I don’t blame them, though. You belted like Lady Gaga. Only certain people can do that and you’re one of them.”

“James,” I said, reaching over to make him look at me. “You’re an amazing artist. You can sing, true. But, you can also play multiple instruments! That’s ten times the artist I’ll ever be. Plus, it’s just a video,”

“A video that has over fifty-million views,”

“James.”

“Sorry.”

Finally, he turned to look at me. I patted his arm like I would a dog, trying to comfort him. “Let’s stop looking at the video. It’s making us miserable.” To show him I meant it, I turned on my phone and deleted the video from my history. 

“Just like that? We’re going to stop caring about it?” he asked. 

“Exactly,” I continued, saying, “James, you are an amazing artist. You should stop caring about the video for your own good. It’s hurting your charisma.” I replied. “I did think that we would become famous for this. But, now I can’t imagine being a famous singer. ”

James smiled — and it seemed genuine this time. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry I got jealous. But, you really do have a great voice. You deserve to be admired for that,” James carried on. “I shouldn’t have been spiteful and bitter. The world was seeing the gift you have, I should have just been happy for you in the first place because, Halo, I love you.”

“You’re joking,” I blurted as I turned my gaze to the window. I know it’s a joke. It was the first time and now he’s coming back for an encore. 

“I’m not,” he said. 

His voice — it seemed genuine. Was he not joking this time? Was he actually serious? Does James love me? It couldn’t be. There’s no way James could love me. I’m a former delinquent, no one can ever be in love with a prisoner. Once a prisoner, always a prisoner. 

“Halo,” James said, turning my face to look at him. “I love you,”

Our lips met with a soft kiss. This moment didn’t feel real. James was my friend — he’s always been my friend. And although my feelings had changed, I never imagined kissing him, let alone him being the one to confess his love to me. It was like we were in a movie. In practically every romance movie, the couple either has their first kiss in a car or in the rain. 

When we parted, he said, “I’ve been waiting forever to do that,”

I smiled aimlessly, still trying to comprehend what happened. “Because a couple months is so long,” I replied dryly. 

He laughed. “All right. Let’s get you home,”

As he started up the engine again, I knew I would never forget the day James Middleton — the most popular guy in school — confessed his love and kissed me. It was something every girl at school would dream of (including Alice Anne, who I bet will attempt to murder me when she finds out about this). 

I wasn’t even thinking about the video or James’ jealousy, or that I was practically internet famous. All I was thinking about was that James and I were together now. Nothing would break my stride. Everything is as it should be.